I once had a boss who, to be honest, could strike fear into the bravest of employees. If you made a mistake at work — no matter how small — he would call you out in front of everyone. And I’m not talking about a gentle “hey, this needs fixing.” I’m talking about the kind of tongue-lashing that left you wishing you could crawl under your desk and disappear.
The strange thing is, he wasn’t a bad man. In fact, I think he genuinely believed he was helping people improve by being blunt. But the effect was… brutal! He had this unspoken “I never make mistakes” air around him, and because of that, his corrections often crossed into public shaming.
Then came the day everything changed.
He made a big error. Not a small oversight — I mean a real blunder that cost the company time and money. One of our colleagues caught it and, deciding to “hold him accountable” the way he held us, confronted him about it in front of others.
The color drained from his face. He stammered, mumbled something, then quietly retreated into his office and locked the door. For hours.
When he finally emerged, the confident, no-nonsense leader we knew was gone. In his place was a man who looked humbled… even broken.
That moment stuck with me. Because it was a reminder that we’re all human. We all make mistakes. The only difference is sometimes we’re the one correcting… and sometimes we’re the one being corrected.
The Father-Child Parallel
If you’re a father — or you had a father figure who was present — you know this: kids mess up. A lot!
Sometimes they make mistakes out of ignorance, sometimes out of stubbornness, and sometimes just because they’re still figuring out the world.
Now, imagine if every time your child spilled juice, forgot homework, or made a poor choice, you responded with scathing words or public humiliation. That child might “fall in line” for a while, but deep down, you’d be chiseling away at their confidence and trust in you.
Good fathers know something important: Correction is necessary, but condemnation is destructive.
God Himself models this for us. Jeremiah 9:23-24 says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength… but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know Me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on earth.”
Even when He confronts Israel’s disobedience, His goal isn’t to destroy them, but to bring them back to Him. His rebuke is firm, yes — but it’s always laced with the hope of restoration.
Why We Tend to Judge Harshly
Let’s be honest, — sometimes it feels good to point out someone else’s flaws. Why? Because for a moment, it makes us feel morally superior.
But here’s the trap: The moment we start thinking I would never do that, we set ourselves up for a fall.
Jesus addressed this in Matthew 7:3-5:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?… You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Notice Jesus didn’t say don’t remove the speck — correction is still important. But the posture matters. We’re to correct from a place of humility, not superiority.
My boss’s breakdown taught me that the day you find yourself on the receiving end of the kind of judgment you dish out is the day you realize how painful it is.
Three Heart Postures to Keep When Correcting Others
1. Approach Like a Fellow Traveler
Think of yourself not as a judge handing down a sentence, but as a fellow traveler who’s stumbled many times and knows the terrain.
Galatians 6:1 says:
“If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Gentleness is the key here. You’re not above them — you’re alongside them.
2. Remember Your Own Track Record
We all have a highlight reel of mistakes. Some were seen by others, some were hidden. The difference is often just timing and circumstance.
James 3:2 puts it plainly:
“We all stumble in many ways.”
If you live with that awareness, it will soften your tone when you speak to someone who’s messed up.
3. Aim for Restoration, Not Humiliation
Correction should lift someone toward a better path, not crush them under the weight of their failure.
Proverbs 12:18 warns:
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
If your words leave a wound, you’ve missed the mark. If they inspire change, you’ve done your job well.
Practical Steps for Leaders
Whether you’re dealing with a child at home, a team member at work, or a brother in your men’s fellowship, here are a few ways to correct with humility:
- Pause Before You Speak
That 5-second pause can be the difference between a measured response and a regrettable outburst. - Correct in Private
Public shaming might make you feel powerful, but it makes them feel powerless. Pull them aside. - Lead with Empathy
Start with “I understand how this could happen” before pointing out what went wrong. - Separate the Person from the Problem
Address the action, not their identity. “This decision wasn’t wise” is different from “You’re so careless.” - Offer a Path Forward
Always end with, “Here’s how you can make it right.” That’s what God does with us.
Lessons from my Boss
After my boss’s humbling experience, something shifted in him. He didn’t stop correcting mistakes — but his tone softened. He started calling people into his office instead of calling them out in front of others. He began asking, “How can we fix this?” instead of “Why did you do this?”
I think he realized what every father, husband, boss, and leader eventually must:
The way you correct today shapes whether people will follow you tomorrow.
The God Who Corrects in Love
The ultimate model for correction with humility is God Himself.
- In Jeremiah 7:3, He points out Israel’s rebellion, but always calls them back: “Amend your ways and your actions, and I will let you live in this place” .
- In Hebrews 12:6, we’re reminded: “The Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.”
- Even Jesus, when correcting Peter after his denial, doesn’t humiliate him — He restores him by asking three times, “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-17).
Correction is not rejection.
Discipline is not condemnation.
When done with humility, it becomes an act of love.
Final Thought
If you remember nothing else from this, remember this: Correct others with the same mercy you hope to receive when you’re the one who messes up.
Your words can either build a bridge or burn it. As a father, leader, or friend, choose to build.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all human…
And we’re all still learning.
