Have you ever given your child a simple task, only to be met with a string of excuses?
“I’m too tired.”
“I don’t know how.”
“It’s too hard.”
“I don’t want to.”
It’s frustrating, right? You might feel tempted to yell, dismiss them, or just do nothing—hoping they’ll eventually grow out of it. But what if I told you that the way we handle their excuses can shape their future?
Let me share a story.
The Boy Who Hated Reading
I once heard a story about a young boy who absolutely hated reading. Every time he was told to read his books, he had an excuse ready:
“I’m too tired.”
“I can’t find my book.”
“I’ll do it later.”
His parents always scolded him and sometimes beat him as they thought he was being lazy.
At school, he was always distracted, playful, and uninterested. His grades suffered, and he was at the bottom of his class.
One evening, his mom asked him to do his homework. Again, the excuses rolled in. But this time, instead of punishing him, she sat him down and made him read beside her. That’s when she noticed something—he was struggling to see the words on the page.
A quick eye test later, and they discovered he had a vision problem. Once he got glasses, everything changed.
Suddenly, reading wasn’t frustrating anymore. He could see the words clearly, and over time, he began to love books. In just a year, he went from the worst in his class to the best.
What if his mother had dismissed his excuses again as mere laziness? What if she had given up on him?
God’s Parenting Style: How He Handles Excuses
As parents, we often face the same struggle: Do we ignore the excuses, yell, or force our kids to obey? Instead of guessing, let’s take a look at how God—our ultimate Father—handles excuses.
Remember Moses? He had a list of excuses when God called him to lead Israel out of Egypt. But God didn’t yell, dismiss, or do nothing. Instead, He guided Moses through each excuse.
Here’s what we can learn:
Excuse #1: “I Can’t Do This.”
Moses’ excuse: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11)
God’s response: “I will be with you.” (Exodus 3:12)
Parenting lesson: When your child says, “I can’t do this,” reassure them that they’re not alone. Offer to help, guide, or do it together until they gain confidence.
“I know math seems tough, but I’ll sit with you while you try this problem.”
Excuse #2: “What If I Don’t Know What to Say?”
Moses’ excuse: “What if they ask me, ‘What is His name?’ What should I tell them?” (Exodus 3:13)
God’s response: “Tell them ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:14)
Parenting lesson: If your child is hesitant because they don’t know how to respond, equip them with the right words and tools.
“If someone asks why you believe in Jesus, you can simply say, ‘Because He loves me and has changed my life.’”
“If you’re nervous about speaking in class, practice what to say with me first.”
Excuse #3: “What If I Fail?”
Moses’ excuse: “What if they do not believe me or listen to me?” (Exodus 4:1)
God’s response: “What is that in your hand?” (Exodus 4:2) (God then turns Moses’ staff into a snake as proof.)
Parenting lesson: When your child doubts their ability, give them tangible assurances. Show them their past successes or provide tools to boost their confidence.
“Remember the last time you thought you couldn’t ride your bike? You did it! This is just like that.”
“Let’s do a practice test so you feel more prepared.”
Excuse #4: “I’m Not Good at This.”
Moses’ excuse: “I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Exodus 4:10)
God’s response: “Who gave human beings their mouths? … I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” (Exodus 4:11)
Parenting lesson: Encourage your child by reminding them that weaknesses can be overcome. Teach them to lean on God’s strength.
“I know public speaking is scary, but God can help you be bold.”
“You may not be good at soccer yet, but with practice, you’ll get better.”
Excuse #5: “I Just Don’t Want To!”
Moses’ excuse: “Please send someone else.” (Exodus 4:13)
God’s response: “What about your brother Aaron? I know he can speak well.” (Exodus 4:14)
Parenting lesson: Sometimes, a child just doesn’t want to do something. Instead of forcing compliance, provide support—pair them with a sibling, friend, or mentor.
“You don’t want to do your chores? Let’s do them together until it becomes easier.”
“If you don’t want to join the choir alone, why not invite your best friend to sign up with you?”
Practical Ways to Handle Your Child’s Excuses
Now that we’ve learned from God’s example, here are some practical tips for handling excuses in everyday parenting:
1. Listen First: Sometimes, excuses reveal deeper struggles. Take a moment to understand what’s really going on.
2. Ask Questions: Instead of shutting them down, ask: “Why do you feel this way?” or “What’s making this hard for you?”
3. Break It Down: Big tasks can feel overwhelming. Help them tackle it step by step.
4. Model Perseverance: Show them how you overcome challenges. Share personal stories of times you wanted to quit but didn’t.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Reward effort, not just results. Encouragement fuels confidence.
6. Pray With Them: Teach them to ask God for strength, just like Moses had to rely on Him.
How to Handle Excuses Like God
Instead of yelling or dismissing our children’s excuses, we can guide them just as God guided Moses.
Here’s a simple way to remember it: G.R.A.C.E.
• G – Go with them (Reassure them they’re not alone)
• R – Respond with wisdom (Give them the right words to say)
• A – Assure them (Provide tangible proof they can succeed)
• C – Cultivate their strengths (Encourage them in their weak areas)
• E – Equip them with support (Pair them with someone who can help)
When we parent with G.R.A.C.E., we don’t just correct behavior—we build confidence, resilience, and faith in God’s ability to help them overcome challenges.
So, next time your child gives you an excuse, take a deep breath and ask yourself:
“How would God handle this?”
And then, follow His example.
What excuses have your children given you lately? How did you handle it? Let’s chat in the comments!
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