Every Christian parent wants the best for their children. We pour love, prayer, guidance, and support into their lives, hoping they grow up to fulfill God’s plans. But sometimes, despite our efforts, fear and negativity slip in, causing us to worry excessively about their future. You might wonder if your parenting is enough, or you may fixate on small setbacks, imagining the worst. This article addresses how to stop negative thoughts as a Christian parent by providing practical, faith-filled steps based on Philippians 4:8 to help you redirect your mind toward peace and trust in God.
The Power of Thoughts: How Negative Thinking Affects Parenting
Sometimes, our well-meaning concerns can evolve into negative thoughts, which can cloud our perspective and impact our interactions with our children.
How to Stop Negative Thoughts as a Christian Parent starts with recognizing these thought patterns and understanding their influence. If left unchecked, negativity can subtly lead to behaviors that don’t reflect God’s love and hope for our children.
A Biblical Perspective: Philippians 4:8
Philippians 4:8 gives us clear guidance on managing our thoughts: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” This verse isn’t just encouraging positive thinking for its own sake; it’s a call to align our minds with God’s truth. As Christian parents, focusing on these qualities can help us build a more faith-filled approach to our concerns.
To help Christian parents keep their thoughts aligned with Philippians 4:8, here’s a checklist based on each key quality in the verse. I’ve used the acronym “PRAISE” as a reminder of the mindset God calls us to embrace:
P – Pure Thoughts
Focus on thoughts that are morally clean and free from negativity or corruption. As a parent, consider the purity of your motives, especially when thinking about your child’s behavior or choices. Are your thoughts constructive, or are they clouded by worry or resentment? Philippians 4:8 calls us to dwell on what’s pure to keep our hearts right.
R – Righteous Thoughts
Think about what is right and just in the context of your relationship with your child. When you focus on righteous thoughts, you consider how you can act fairly and kindly, even in challenging situations. Ask yourself, “How can I be fair and model godly character?” By focusing on righteousness, you foster a balanced and grace-filled approach to parenting.
A – Admirable Thoughts
Consider thoughts that bring a sense of respect and admiration. Reflect on the positive qualities of your child, even if they’re struggling. What are the admirable traits they’ve shown? This focus helps you see their potential and encourages a hopeful perspective.
I – Inspirational Thoughts (Lovely)
Think about what is lovely or beautiful, especially in your family dynamics. Focusing on what brings joy and warmth can inspire a more positive outlook and help you appreciate the beauty in your child’s growth, however gradual. This can include memories, progress made, or little moments of connection.
S – Steadfast Thoughts (Praiseworthy)
Anchor your thoughts in what is praiseworthy and worthy of commendation. Reflect on your child’s small victories, strengths, and the blessings of parenthood. Praising God for these things builds gratitude and steadiness, helping you stand firm when challenges arise.
E – Excellent Thoughts
Finally, meditate on what is excellent—qualities, actions, or values that align with God’s nature. When you think on things that are excellent, you seek the best for your child, letting God’s standards guide your heart.
Using the PRAISE Checklist
When facing negative thoughts, ask yourself if your thinking aligns with these categories. If not, refocus on “PRAISE”—Pure, Righteous, Admirable, Inspirational, Steadfast, and Excellent thoughts—just as Philippians 4:8 teaches. This approach will help you nurture a mindset that’s both Christ-centered and empowering as a parent.
To make the PRAISE checklist practical, let’s look at real-world parenting scenarios where each point can be applied, helping parents reframe negative thoughts about their children in constructive, faith-based ways.
P – Pure Thoughts
Scenario: Imagine your teenager has just started high school and is showing interest in new friendships or activities that worry you. Focusing on these worrying thoughts could lead to judgmental actions such as yelling or being hostile to your child.
Applying the concept of P – Pure Thoughts: Instead of assuming negative intentions, focus on “pure” thoughts. Assume the best in their intentions and encourage open conversations. Ask questions like, “What do you enjoy about spending time with these new friends?” This allows you to gain insight without judgment, building trust and giving them a safe space to share. Your res
R – Righteous Thoughts
Scenario: Your child comes home with a poor report card, and you’re tempted to respond with frustration. The consequences can be demoralizing for the child.
Applying the concept of R – Righteous Thoughts: Think about what is “right” and just. Instead of immediately scolding, ask your child about any challenges they might be facing at school. For example, maybe they’re struggling with a particular subject or feeling overwhelmed. This approach encourages a constructive discussion focused on solutions informed by understanding of his needs.
A – Admirable Thoughts
Scenario: Your child struggles with behavioral issues at school, and you’re constantly receiving calls from teachers about their disruptions. No parent will be glad. While it is important to address these issues, joining the teachers and other pupils by seeing your child ONLY through the eyes of these areas of concerns, isn’t the way to go.
Applying the concept of A – Admirable Thoughts: While you work at helping to correct the anomaly, for a moment shift your focus to admirable traits that your child possess. Ask yourself, “What positive qualities can I see in him that others may overlook?”
For instance, maybe they’re creative, curious, or have a great sense of humor. Focusing on these traits can help you view them in a more positive light and provide encouragement rather than solely addressing their mistakes. Admiration for their strengths can guide you in helping them channel their energy positively.
I – Inspirational Thoughts (Lovely)
Scenario: You’re dealing with a rebellious phase, and it feels like every conversation turns into an argument. Dwelling solely on this, would only amplify these arguments.
Applying the concept of I – Inspirational Thoughts: Instead of dwelling on the conflict, reflect on what is “lovely.” Recall times when you and your child connected, perhaps a family vacation or a shared hobby. These memories can inspire patience and a more positive approach. When the conflict arises, bringing up these lovely, shared experiences can also help diffuse tension and remind your child of the warmth in your relationship.
S – Steadfast Thoughts (Praiseworthy)
Scenario: Your child isn’t meeting your expectations academically or athletically, and it’s tempting to feel disappointed.
Applying the concept of S – Steadfast Thoughts: Rather than fixating on what’s lacking, focus on praiseworthy aspects of their character, such as persistence, kindness, or honesty. Praise these qualities openly to reinforce their value. For example, say, “I’m proud of how kind you are to your friends” or “Your perseverance in trying is what truly matters.” This keeps your mindset anchored in gratitude and helps your child feel valued beyond achievements.
E – Excellent Thoughts
Scenario: You’re worried about your child’s future due to their current struggles, whether it’s behavior, academics, or friendships. Worrying doesn’t change things!
Applying the concept of E – Excellent Thoughts: Think about what’s excellent. Reflect on God’s excellent qualities and how His guidance has been a source of strength for you. Ask yourself, “How can I model God’s love and patience?” This approach helps you focus on God’s standards as you guide your child, trusting in His plan and reaffirming your role in helping them grow toward His excellence.
Putting PRAISE into Practice
When next negative thoughts arise concerning your child, ask “are these thoughts PRAISE – worthy?” If not, reframe each thought to match PRAISE thoughts —Pure, Righteous, Admirable, Inspirational, Steadfast, and Excellent. Over time, this mindset can transform how you view and interact with your child, promoting a healthier, more faith-filled relationship.
God bless you!
