Parenting is not for the faint of heart. One minute, you’re melting at your child’s innocent giggles, and the next, you’re wondering how that same sweet child turned into a mini-lawyer, negotiating their way out of cleaning their room! But beyond the daily routines and occasional power struggles, one of our biggest responsibilities as parents is teaching children values—the principles that will shape their lives and guide them when we’re not around.
Why Teaching Children Values Matters
The world is constantly sending messages to our children—some good, some outright dangerous. If we don’t intentionally teach and model the right values, they’ll absorb whatever culture throws their way. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This means our role isn’t just about correction but active training in godly living.
Values shape character, and character determines destiny. So, how do we practically instill the right values in our children?
1. Teach and Train – There’s a Difference
The Bible encourages us to teach and train our children. Teaching involves using words to shape their minds, while training involves using actions to reinforce those words. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Notice that it says train, not just tell!
Think about it: if you want your child to learn how to swim, you don’t just explain the strokes; you put them in the water and guide them until they can do it themselves. The same applies to values. Don’t just tell your children to be kind; show them kindness. Don’t just tell them to be honest; let them see you walk in integrity.
2. Be Deliberate About It
You wouldn’t go to the gym expecting six-pack abs without a workout plan, right? The same applies to teaching children values. Be intentional! Sit down with your spouse and decide what values you want to emphasize in your home.
Here are some key areas to consider:
- Faith – Teach them to love and follow God (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
- Integrity – Let them see you do the right thing, even when it’s inconvenient.
- Kindness – Show them how to be compassionate and considerate.
- Responsibility – Give them age-appropriate tasks and hold them accountable.
- Gratitude – Encourage them to appreciate what they have instead of always wanting more.
Once you know what values matter most, reinforce them daily in your conversations, discipline, and even family traditions.
3. Model the Values You Want to See
Let’s be honest—kids are excellent at sniffing out hypocrisy. You can’t tell them not to lie while they overhear you calling in sick to work when you’re perfectly fine. They watch, they listen, and they imitate.
Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” That’s a challenge for every parent! If we want our children to be patient, loving, and God-fearing, we have to live it out first.
A child who grows up watching their parents pray, forgive, and serve others will naturally see those as the norm. If you want to teach your children values, start with yourself. Ask, “Would I want my child to copy my actions?” If the answer is no, it’s time to make adjustments.
4. Create Opportunities for Practice
Life will test the values we instill in our children. It’s not enough for them to hear about honesty—they need to practice it. That’s why regular check-ins are important.
For example, if you’re teaching generosity, involve them in choosing toys or clothes to donate. If you’re emphasizing responsibility, let them handle chores without micromanaging them. Celebrate when they make the right choices, and gently correct them when they don’t.
Think of values like muscles. The more they use them, the stronger they become.
5. Make Values a Part of Everyday Conversations
You don’t need a formal “Family Values Meeting” every week to instill godly principles. The best lessons happen in everyday moments:
- When watching a movie, pause and ask, “What do you think about that character’s decision?”
- When they face challenges at school, ask, “What would Jesus do in this situation?”
- When they fail, remind them, “God’s grace is bigger than our mistakes.”
Moses told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:7 to teach their children about God’s commands when sitting at home, walking along the road, lying down, and getting up. In other words, values should be a natural part of life.
6. Discipline with Love, Not Fear
Correction is necessary, but how we do it matters. The Bible says in Hebrews 12:11, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Discipline should not be about punishment but about training.
When children make mistakes (because they will), use it as a teaching moment. Instead of just saying, “Don’t ever do that again!” ask, “What do you think went wrong? What could you do differently next time?” This way, they learn to process their actions and take responsibility.
7. Pray Over and With Your Children
At the end of the day, we can plant the seeds, but God is the one who makes them grow. Pray for your children daily. Ask God to give them wisdom, strength, and a heart that seeks Him.
Also, pray with them. Let them hear you talk to God about their future, their choices, and their struggles. It teaches them that they can always turn to God for help.
A Quick Recap:
- Teach and Train – Words shape the mind, but actions reinforce them.
- Be Deliberate – Have a clear plan for the values you want to instill.
- Model What You Teach – Live out the values you expect from your children.
- Give Opportunities for Practice – Let them exercise their values in real life.
- Make Values a Part of Conversations – Use everyday moments to reinforce godly principles.
- Discipline with Love – Correction should teach, not just punish.
- Pray Over and With Them – God is the ultimate heart-shaper.
Final Thoughts
Raising children who love God and walk in integrity is one of the most rewarding (and challenging) callings in life. But the good news? You’re not alone. God is with you, guiding you every step of the way.
And if you missed our last post on Raising a Healthy Family Through Acts of Service, go check it out! Serving one another is a great way to model values that will stick for a lifetime. Let’s be intentional about teaching children values, not just through our words but through the way we live. Because at the end of the day, they might forget what we said, but they’ll never forget what we showed them. ❤️
